Way Off Course

Having seen and heard the two horse race at Perth it made me wonder that if they had been saddled and ridden over jumps, they might have performed better.  Can’t think what odds they would have attracted but the fact is, if they were from a decent stable they would have been sent off possibly to be ideal companions for abandoned donkeys, as opposed to the other way round, or indeed, languishing in the shadows of a glue factory.  If they had any pride, or understanding how the Scottish people think, or why we are wondering how this race is to end, most would say the whole meet should be abandoned.

The fact that we have to be ruled by such an inferior coupling means we are best staying out of the bookies. I doubt the highlight of the final race will be enjoyed by the country as a whole, although neck to neck the fact that they are the only bloodstock available, I doubt they are worth a punt, for the consequences of their lack of stamina means it’s us who will stagger and fall at the first fence.  For there’s no stewards inquiry on this result, and I doubt we will ever have the satisfaction of seeing the winner take every fence with any kind of style or skill, but the consequences of their failure will not only have so much impact on our own lives, they could take us all down in their fatal fall.

We may not have much to look forward too in the coming months, but harnessing ourselves to a three legged nag or a wayward stallion who hasn’t got the bits to perform even the most fundamental task.  For it is they who are gambling with our futures, not the voteless public.  So if you want to put a bet on how our lives will be at the finishing line, think handicap, there will be no Two Thousand Guineas in our pay packets, no starting price for our energy hike, no weigh in when it comes to our unseating, because they are not only ignorant of the way we live here in Scotland they are totally blinkered in their plans for our future.

Their classic response to Scotland is NO, even when the going is good, their juvenile interaction with their Unionist diatribe makes them the outsider, not the voting public for those who live and work in what they see is their Northern outpost.  We are not even seen as a Nation, just a non runner in the race for their future, not ours.

Politics is a funny old business, but with any discussion, the need to keep them on the course we want them to take needs a great deal of horse trading. They both need to open up and head for for the winning line but, as in all races, there sometimes comes a fall, maybe it’s just lack of spirit, but just wait and see if they like the taste of winning when the civil servants fit their nosebags, walk them into their stalls and only let them out for a quick canter before locking them up again. let’s hope some outsider will appear to save us all from having to watch the pair parade for the crowds, and far from being the thoroughbreds they try to be, let’s hope there is someone who can whip them into shape, or put them out to pasture.  Long live the novice who can raise the hopes of the punters and lead them onto a more successful race card.  For Scotland, with these also-rans, the stakes are high, but let’s hope for our future and let the winner take it all, for we will take that Gold Cup, even if it means a quick dash around Hamilton, look out Suzy Q and April Dancer, the Caledonian Express just might take the lead and show you we don’t do losing.